glimpses of grace: {to thrive}

God is love. Three simple words that mean so much. How does one even begin to describe it? The age haunting question...what does it mean love?

Recently for a journaling assignment as part of a group I am in at school this year we were asked to write a picture of what we see when we say, "God is love."  The Bible tells us that God is love. But what is? and what is love? My analytic mind can go round and round. It seems like a definition way too large.

As I searched through definitions, this one caught my eye: love - to thrive in {example: the rose loves to be in the sunlight} and while we're at it thrive - to grow or develop successfully, to flourish or succeed. 

When we reach toward His face and let His grace, love, faithfulness, patience and pursuit fall onto us we can flourish. When we delight in the relationship He pursues with us, we can grow.

To thrive in. To flourish. Isn't that just a beautiful picture of God as love? When we let his love into our life, we will thrive. Become fully alive. We weren't called to survive this life, we are called to THRIVE in this life. A journey I have a lot to learn in. "I have come that you might have light and have it more abundantly."

coffee date {edition 2}

coffee, chocolate, cuddles and the Word with my favorite man

if we were having coffee today....

...I'd tell you about the amazing cup of French Press my husband got at a local coffee shop when we were with friends a few weeks ago. That stuff was good.

...I'd tell you how thrilled I am with having completed the Whole 30 this last month. It was hard but oh so good. And to be honest the clear cut yes and no's made eating much easier. Now to figure out what direction to head from here...

..I'd tell you how I have been reading the book Restless and it is making me think, pray and dream like never before.

...I'd tell you that I got a 3 day weekend with my man at home and how much I am enjoying it. We have been traveling so much it feels almost weird! Neither of us has to work (well our regular jobs - we're doing plenty around the house!) and it is just nice.

...I'd ask you about your present dreams, your future dreams and the biggest thing on your heart right now.

...I'd tell you how this month ever since listening to several hours of challenging messages my mind has been running with lots of thoughts. This year it spoke to current issues and how the Gospel answers the big questions and leads us. The Gospel gives hope, healing and restoration. It opens our eyes to our calling to be a healer, a helper, an advocate for the hurt, the needy and the broken.

...I'd tell you how much my heart aches with longing to bring hope, healing and freedom to the many many girls today who have been hurt by the lusts of men, agendas of others or the brokenness of not knowing Jesus Christ. There is a hurting world around us.

....I'd tell you how much I love rainy days but I sure wish it didn't bring so much mud with it #agirlcanwishright ? :)

two delicious new recipes from the Whole 30

...I'd tell you how God answered an incredible request - more on this later but suffice to say - WE HAVE A HOME this fall.

...I'd tell you that allergies sure have been affecting my breathing for running lately but this spring greenery makes every run worth it. I'd ask what your current favorite way to workout.

...I'd tell you that this morning I read Isaiah 58 and was blessed to overflowing at the redemption and hope in it.

What's on your mind for a coffee date this week?

snippets of grace

"Good means I never mess up. Good means I weigh the perfect amount. Good means I can handle everything. I don't look like a foll and I never lose my patience...Good means I am enough. My goodness is all about me." - Emily Freeman

Do you ever get tired of trying to be good? I do. Of living with checkmarks and rules that you measure by?

My goodness is all about me - ouch that hurts! When I try to be good, it's me. It's my measure up. Not about God.

"When we believe that God expects us to try hard to become who Jesus wants us to be, we will live in that blurry, frustrating land of Should Be rather than trust the One Who Is."

For years, I lived as a "try hard good girl".  I believed in Jesus, I loved Jesus. But I had an image I created (by the standards, opinions and thoughts of others) that made me work hard. Mistakes were not included. I wanted to live in God's grace but I worked for it.

I longed to live in the freedom and joy that Jesus speaks of. But I still clamored on seeking to live this life perfectly. I still strove to be a good Christian girl. (to be honest, I strove to be a perfect Christian girl cause that's what others wanted, right?)

This was not God's desire for my life...

"But Jesus is calling us to a deeper, truer, freer identity. All he wants is simply you - minus your good works, minus your perfect attendance, minus your politeness. When you really believe that, you may discover that all you want is Jesus, simply Jesus. Not just to get to heaven or to help you be a good person or do the right thing, but to simply love and be loved by Him."

To love and be loved by Him. Love. Rest. Trust.

Jesus had a lovely, freeing picture that He was offering to me....and the journey to be fully alive in His grace continues. It's a long journey but these beginnings give hope of a beautiful picture.

The thoughts were inspired by quotes from the book Grace for the Good Girl (Emily Freeman) - read it!

inspiration...

when icy rain and snow changes your plans for the day, you cuddle up for hot drinks, games and relaxing with your favorite man...it's a good life, folks!

A question for you today....What inspires you? I would love to hear.

Honestly, I struggle to know what to write. Cooking? Well, others are better at that or the recipes disappear. (and for those wanting the blueberry muffin recipe - the link that was the original recipe disappeared on me. Weird. So it will come when I make them again to make sure I remember the ingredients right. Sorry!)  

DIY projects? Umm, well those happen about as rarely as you'll find the ocean in Kansas. (Okay, maybe not quite but why do I get so many ideas and do not do a one of them?) Lessons I'm learning? That's raw. 

*reading alert - this is a very honest post*

To my readers, what gives you inspiration for your blogging, passions and life? 

As I try to chart new roads with this blog, I'm seeking to find just where I want to be. First, I want this place to glorify my Jesus and be a channel for others to see His grace. But I'm scared to write often. I really haven't had much experience in life. I'm still learning. I have a long ways to go in living a life driven by His grace, not my performance or regulations. Living a life embracing joy and the adventure of living.

Should I blog? How much longer will I blog? There are so many beautiful places out on the internet. 

Why do I write? Because words speak to me. I am encouraged, blessed and inspired by the ladies who share their lives and thoughts here on this internet world. But those ladies are brave. Am I brave? 

Where is balance between sharing and saving? There's such a need for authenticity in this world. But there's also a line to not just spill it all.

So my friends thank you for coming along. This blog will likely never have a clear theme. I want to be real. Which means that off line life is the most important (um, yes that's why the new blog design isn't done and posts are not regular), which means that things will change from time to time. 

This blog is also a place for me to experiment in learning design.

God is doing beautiful things showing me the joy that is in this life and the beauty of living it full. But it's a long journey. Lessons, photography, stories, books - here you will see snippets from my passions, from what I'm learning and discovering in this adventure into discovering His beauty and grace. 

hello 2015

a new year...a new journal....a new adventure...

empty.

open. (well...kinda...)

This year I'm starting off with a lot of new things. In the last several months there have been quite a few new things in my life - a new name, a new home, new community, a new role, a new job. And this year is likely to bring quite a few more new things. Newness is exciting. Newness is scary. Newness often involves change (something I don't do good at!) and courage.

When I look to 2015, I'm scared but excited. Last year God started a lot of work in my life that has been brutal and shaking. As He tore away my pride and humbled me, He opened my eyes and heart in a whole new way. I look at 2015 in a different way than most years.

My words for this year are "grow" and "grace".

To grow in receiving God's grace and others. To give grace. To grow in giving myself grace. There are lots of dreams things I want to grow in. But this year has the potential for lots more changes and I want to give myself grace. Grace to dream big but to be okay if I don't accomplish it. That I accepted and okay even if my goal list doesn't get done. That I am still just as worthy and good before God.
Grace.

 Grace teaches us that God loves because of who God is, not because of who we are...Grace means there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I can do to make God love me less.- Phillip Yancy

So I'm asking God to let me grow in His grace. To receive it. To delight in it. To give it. To see it. To rest in it. Welcome 2015!

goals, resolutions or....

I am a person who loves to write out goals. (notice I say "write") I love to accomplish goals to but often I get lofty headed while setting them and attempt far too many things I can't humanly do. It's can be my pride or my "go for it all" personality that causes me to do this but more often it is the stubborn streak of perfectionism that makes me feel that my only worth is equal to the things I accomplish. Wrong.

As 2015 comes in, I'm excited to dream big, make goals and see what God will do.  There are three main goals for this year - to love God and people more fiercely and deeply. Cause the things that really matter are God and people. And to give myself grace. Grace to be imperfect. Grace to do big things. Grace to be a human. That this life truly is a journey of grace - grace from God.

So what about you...do you set goals? Do you set resolutions as a New Year comes in? I'd love to hear.

And just to be helpful...here are some very random links for thoughts as you close 2014 and start 2015. Your welcome.

A Desire or A Dream over at one of my favorite blogs

How to Step Forward into a New Year when you want a Do-Over on the last year (another favorite blog)

Nine Questions I'm asking before 2015 at the Blue Dishes - great thoughts for thinking over the old
year.

20 Questions for a New Year's Eve Reflection (this site is awesome!)

4 things you don't need to do in 2015

Making a New's Resolution that Sticks from Tim Challies

expectant longing {Advent}

O come, O come Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appears

that longing...full of expectation yet waiting, wondering. A nation, a world waiting for the Redeemer.

Within the lines of this song on the longing for the Savior is the reminder that He is here. Emmanuel - God with us. And Emmanuel did come to us. The reason to celebrate Christmas. Emmanuel - God with us.

to thank

"Remembering is an act of thanksgiving, a way of thanksgiving, this turn of the heart over time's shoulder to see all the long way His arms have carried. Gratitude is not only the memories of our heart; gratitude is a memory of God's heart and to thank is to remember God." 

- Ann Voskamp

...on fear

Fear. Fear of the future. Fear of others. Fear of not having enough money. Fear haunts us. It consumes us. It whispers, "you aren't in control and neither is anyone else." 

Fear makes us desperate. To be enough. To have enough. Fear makes us doubt God. It gives us a basis to believe that we aren't enough for God. Fear. It wraps itself around our thoughts and plunges straight to the darkest depths of our hearts. 

 All fear is the lie that God’s love ends. - Ann V.

Fear drives me to do, to say, to believe, to work against what I know is truth.

God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and self-control.

Fear lets other forces drive us. Trust lets God drive us. God longs for me to be at rest in Him. To release my fears. To believe what He says. Fear says, "do more, work harder for God to accept you." Trust says, "Rest. I have already done the work." 

"I had to choose fear - or completely trust Him. One cannot exist if the other is true."(from this article)

I was with dear people where the fear of doing enough good for God's favor is externally visible. Fear of what their destiny will be hurls them forward, pushing their actions, their thoughts. Fear blinds them. Doing, doing, doing but never knowing.

My heart cries for them. I want them to know Jesus, to see that He has done the work and God gives us favor: grace. Ashamed though, I realize how often fear drives me. It blinds me to see what Jesus has already done and is doing. Fear holds my heart in an immovable exhaustion. Surely I must do a bit more. Fear of being exposed. Fear of being rejected. Fear of what others may think. 

Then I see my Father's anguish face longing for me to trust and believe, "Child. Trust me. You are mine. The work has already been done. The gift has been given. Jesus paid your price. Rest in it. My love is received, not earned. I love you. Receive grace" 

monday musings

enjoying - fall weather, it's colors and everything pumpkin (seriously from cheesecake to muffins to soup, pumpkin is so yummy!) If you are looking for a delicious healthy pumpkin dessert check out this recipe. (I baked them and they were great.) I can't wait to try these muffins soon.

celebrating - so glad this weekend we could celebrate 3 months of marriage - random dates with my man just get better all the time. I am so grateful for my handsome guy!

excited - to be spending time abroad with my man this month #firstflightsasamarriedcouple

loving - that scarf weather is here! (one cannot have too many scarves.... :))

If we are children of God, we have tremendous treasure in nature and will realize that it is holy and sacred. We will see God reaching out to us in every wind that blows, every sunrise and sunset, every cloud in the sky, every flower that blooms 

and every leaf that fades.

~ Oswald Chambers

accepting the meaning

What is the meaning of grace?

Dictionary definition - 1. Favor; good will; kindness; disposition to oblige another; as a grant made as an act of grace.  2. Appropriately, the free unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive from him. 3. Favorable influence of God; 4. Favor; mercy; pardon. 5. Beauty; embellishment; GRACE, v.t. To adorn; to decorate; to embellish and dignify. 1. To dignify or raise by act of favor 2. To favor; to honor.

To know the meaning is one thing. To accept it is another.

Phillip Yancy writes, "Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more. And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us less. Grace means that God already loves us as much as an infinite God can possibly love. Grace is unfair."

For years I have known the meaning of grace in my head but accepting it was a different story. I saw others living it out in front of me. I heard it again and again yet I disdained it. I fought for it.  I arrogantly thought and acted, "I am not worthy of grace so I must earn it."

Not worthy.

The very two words that enable us to receive grace. I twisted and blinded myself to be unable to accept grace.

Truth is I am not worthy. Truth is Christ is worthy and He makes me worthy.

Christ makes me worthy. Christ is all I need. To accept His grace means to look to Him. To look to Jesus. To rest in Him. Not working, not striving, not trying.

"In Him {Jesus} we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us..."

This journey to accepting grace has been long. It still lies ahead of me. I began this journey, stumbling not even sure what I was seeking for.

And God gave grace. His grace was faithful as I blindly walked for years. His grace was faithful as I stumbled onto this path. This adventure He longed for me to receive. He brought people around me and a man into my life who pointed me towards Him and the joy of the beautiful, freeing reality of grace.

Accepting is still a struggle. I know the meaning in my head but living the reality of it....that's a question.

But Jesus is gently drawing me to Him and as he does, He pours out His grace. He is opening my heart to see the glory, rest and redemption of his grace. The beauty of being worthy, of being filled, of being at rest. The beauty of Jesus and His gifts of grace.